There is a grace that lives in suffering that can move us to suffer well. It offers this unfathomable peace and assurance that can only come through Christ. It gives us permission to mourn and cry and know that our pain matters to God. I can often feel guilty for calling my circumstances ‘a trial’ or naming my pain ‘suffering’. There’s always a heart whose experiencing more breaking. Yet that truth never seems to be enough to dry the tears and stitch the wounds.
God’s Word doesn’t call us to only seek help when we believe no one needs it more, to pull up our bootstraps and simply march on. It calls us to run boldly to Him in time of need. Every time of need. It is here at the throne of God’s Grace where we find just that—grace, mercy and help. (Hebrews 4:16). Yes, we need this. Yes, it’s ok to receive it.
My husband and I bought a house nearly 5 years ago, we dreamed of raising our kids there. We poured our blood, sweat and tears into making it a beautiful, life-giving home. A place where neighbors, friends and family were always welcome and felt loved. It offered such a peaceful respite, in the midst of life’s many trials.
I imagined all of the memories we would make over the years– my little princess walking down the curved staircase ready to greet her first prom date, I dreamed of grandkids taking first steps right where my babies did, and wondered what adventures we’d have running through our woods, those beautiful woods. I treasured this special place and the life that had been lived there.
Three months ago, we felt called to say goodbye to the place we called home. We knew we could sell it and have enough equity to pay for the therapeutic care my youngest sister needed. God was speaking to our hearts, ‘I gave you this home and the gifts and abilities to make it worth something– and now it’s time to let it go. I gave it to you, but it was never for you.’
You never know how tightly you’ve been holding on to something until God tells you to let it go. To surrender brick and mortar to rescue flesh and blood.
Through the many tears I’ve shed over saying goodbye, God has never left me in my sorrow. He’s been faithful to remind me that He recycles all of our trials for His glory and our good. He never lets anything become an idol, and fights for our freedom from the superficial chains that so easily bind us. He wants our all, surrendered to Him, to use as He so pleases.
It’s not easy to live in the broken and hold your hands wide open. I’d much rather clinch my fists at times. Yet these earthly sacrifices will never compare to this: the sacrifice Jesus made when his arms were nailed wide open to rescue you and me.
“We’ve been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home….The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what’s ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we’ll never settle for less.” 2 Corinthians 2:15