I would stare in the mirror each morning hoping to see someone the world would love. Someone beautiful enough, smart enough, good enough, brave enough, strong enough; I just wanted to feel loved enough. And while the words of affirmation … Continue reading
I was in a deep sleep. A sweet sleep, but not deep enough to block out the cries of my little boy. Those types of deep sleeps no longer exist in my world. I crawl out from under the warmth of the covers, fumbling to find the floor, my wool lined slippers and something to drape over my shivering arms. As I reach the bottom of the curved staircase, I hear his whimpers even louder, “mama, “ he mumbles through fits of small tears. It’s always harder to reach the top of those stairs at 3 in the morning, but where else would my feet lead me when my son is calling my name? I enter his dark room, we’d forgotten to turn the night light on, and crawl into his full-size bed. Every time I find myself here, I dread the day when he fills it to full.
“What’s wrong sweet love?” I whisper in his ear.
“Mama,” he sighs “I need a song and a kiss.”
A song and a kiss.
Here my son lay belly full from that night’s dinner, warm under the thick blankets, head on a feather pillow, in a room filled with childhood wonders. Every physical need is met, but he is crying out for song and a kiss. His soul is hungry. His heart is crying out to be held. So I do what he requests. I sing a song, letting the lyrics wrap around him as if they were my arms and pray they nourish his sweet spirit. I kiss his forehead, hold him close and ask if there is anything else he needs.
“A little light, mama,” he mumbles as his lids fall heavy to rest, “just a little light.”
I switch on his night light, crack the door and ponder all of the times I’ve been hungry for all of those same things—A song and a kiss, and just a little light.
“For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty saviour. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17
When we are still before the lord and allow him to sing his love over us, he calms all of our fears. His presence is like a holy kiss, filling us with His sweet and sustaining life–offering light in the midst of the darkness. We just have to cry out like a child in the night. He promises to hear the cries of his children and answer them, to meet us right where we are and nourish us spirit and soul.
Are you in that dark room right now? Have you been there before?
Physical needs perhaps met, but emotionally and spiritually broken?
Cry out to your creator for a song and a kiss and his light will come. Like a mama crawling her way to the top of the stairs, it will always come because He will always come. And He is always there.
Worship: I love music and I love to share it. Each song is for each post. Enjoy! Wasteland– Need to Breathe
© Tamara Gurley 2015
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
When I am weak, I can trust that You are strong. When I am broken, I can know that You were broken for me. When I am aching deep, I can hope in the eternal promise that You will ‘never leave me nor forsake me’*. When I am tired, You hold me up. When I am desperate, You quench my thirst. When I am defeated, wounded, beat up, hopeless, shattered–You come down and You rescue, You bind up and You heal. You are near to those whose hearts are nothing but fragmented pieces in need of much repair. But when our eyes can’t see Your hand, we can still fall freely into the deep well of truth that ‘You Are For Me’. You will never leave me abandoned in my weakness. You will always keep me anchored, bound directly to your heart; continually revealing your presence, your light, always outshining the dark.
If not for Your Grace. Amen.
“I know that you are for me, I know that you are for me, I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness”. -Kari Jobe